How to stop saying yes when you really mean no..
We’ve all been there where we lean into people pleasing instead of being our own advocate - taking on extra things at work when we’re already at capacity, saying yes to an event when we’re mentally drained after a massive week or saying yes just to make someone else happy.
There is a sense of freedom that comes with being able to confidently say no, without guilt or hesitation.
We have been conditioned to think that saying no is selfish or rude (it’s all in how you say it!)
We can learn how to prioritise our own wellbeing while still maintaining healthy relationships and connections - boundaries aren’t there to push people away or draw an imaginary line between you and others.
So how can you get more comfortable with saying no:
DEFINE YOUR BOUNDARIES
It is up to you to choose what is acceptable and unacceptable to you in different areas of your life. Get specific and communicate them to others.
COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY
Remember your boundaries are valid and you have the right to assert them. Be clear and respectful in communicating your needs, limits and expectations.
This will assist you in creating a healthy work-life integration which can transform your sense of balance and fulfilment.
DEVELOP SELF AWARENESS
Develop self awareness to know when your boundaries have been crossed. Pay attention to how you feel emotionally and physically. Trust your intuition, and honour the signals.
STOP PEOPLE PLEASING
Practice saying no without the need to apologise. If it's not a whole body yes, then it's a no and that's ok. Saying no isn't selfish; it's an act of self care and self respect. OWN IT!
CONSISTENCY IS KEY
Be firm and consistent in upholding your boundaries even when it feels uncomfortable or challenging. Keep reminding yourself of the value and importance of having them in place.
There will be different seasons in your life where you are able to take on more, or make adjustments to your current boundaries - You have the right to protect your boundaries and wellbeing so do what is best for you and don’t be afraid to say no.
